The steering wheel felt like it was melting under her palms, a slick, synthetic heat that matched the mid-afternoon humidity of Montrose. She didn’t turn the engine off. Not at first. She sat there, staring at the storefront, her eyes tracking the movement of a single leaf caught in an eddy near the curb.
For , she was a ghost in a parked SUV. I know this because Ethan A. was watching from the window of the coffee shop next door, his laptop open to a sequence of raw footage that needed closed captioning.
Ethan is a specialist; he spends his life describing the sounds of silence-[ambient traffic], [soft exhaling], [indecipherable murmurs]. He noticed her because her stillness was its own kind of noise.
She was the person we usually ignore in marketing data. We focus on the “conversions,” the people who click “buy” within of landing on a page, or the ones who walk in with their chin up, already knowing the difference between a terpene profile and a garden variety weed. But this woman? She was the Hesitator. She was the one weighing forty years of social conditioning against a chronic backache that refused to quit. She was the one who almost didn’t walk in.
When she finally did-after of idling-she didn’t look like a “loyal customer.” She looked like someone who had accidentally walked into the wrong funeral. Her shoulders were up around her ears. She was bracing for a judgment that didn’t exist.
And yet, if you fast-forward , she is the one the staff knows by name. She is the one who brings in a tin of homemade cookies at Christmas. She is the most valuable asset the business has, not because of her initial spend, which was a modest $41, but because her commitment is forged in the fire of conquered fear.
The initial transaction: A modest start to a lifelong commitment.
There is a specific kind of energy in hesitation. Most retailers see it as a barrier, something to be “optimized away” with brighter signs or aggressive “can I help you?” interruptions. That’s a mistake. When a person sits in a parking lot for that long, they are performing a private ritual of risk assessment. They are deciding if they can trust you with their vulnerability.
In a space like hemp or cannabis, where the legal and social lines have shifted like desert dunes for the last few decades, that trust isn’t a commodity. It’s a blood oath.
The Easy Sale
Ego-stroking but volatile. These customers have no skin in the game and will leave over a $1 price difference.
The Hesitator
Requires navigation but yields immunity to competitors. They’ve already argued with their inner critic.
I’ve reread the same sentence five times today, trying to figure out why we value the easy sale so much. Maybe it’s because it’s ego-stroking. It feels good to sell to someone who already loves you. But the easy sale is also the easy departure. The customer who walks in without a second thought is the same customer who will leave for a competitor over a $1 price difference. They have no skin in the game. They haven’t had to argue with their own inner critic to get through your front door.
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The hardest converts are the most loyal because they had to kill a version of themselves to become your customer.
The Hero’s Journey in the Parking Lot
Ethan A. told me later that he saw her exit the vehicle with a jerk, as if the door handle had bitten her. He’s used to captioning “high-stakes” drama, but he said the way she walked toward the entrance of StrainX felt more significant than the action movies he usually works on.
He didn’t see a consumer; he saw a protagonist. And he’s right. Every hesitant customer is in the middle of a hero’s journey. If they are looking for a
residents can actually trust, they aren’t just looking for product. They are looking for a safe harbor for their curiosity.
We have this obsession with “frictionless” experiences. We want everything to be a slide. But friction is where heat comes from. Friction is what creates fire. When a customer feels that social friction-that “should I be here?” anxiety-and the business helps them navigate it without making them feel small, that customer doesn’t just feel satisfied. They feel seen.
I remember my own version of this. It wasn’t a dispensary; it was a high-end tailor shop when I was 21. I stood outside for because I felt like my shoes weren’t expensive enough to step on their carpet. I felt like a fraud.
When I finally walked in, the tailor didn’t look at my shoes. He looked at my posture. He treated me like a person who belonged there, and I spent money I didn’t have just to reward that lack of judgment. I’ve never bought a suit anywhere else since. I am now. That’s twenty years of loyalty born from of terror.
The Potential Immigrant
The data supports this, even if the data is messy. If you look at the retention rates of “hesitators” versus “browsers,” the curve is unmistakable. A browser is a tourist. A hesitator is a potential immigrant. They want to settle down.
They want to find “their place” so they never have to do the “parking lot hover” ever again. Once they find it, they stop looking. They become immune to the $5-off coupons from the shop down the street. Why would they risk that parking lot anxiety all over again for five bucks?
Retention Immersion
The Browser (Tourist)
Low Loyalty
The Hesitator (Immigrant)
Lifetime Commitment
There’s a technical precision to handling this transition. It’s about the “First Ten Seconds.” In Ethan’s world of closed captioning, if the text doesn’t match the mouth movements within a fraction of a second, the immersion is broken. The viewer gets frustrated. Retail is the same.
If the “vibe” of the shop doesn’t immediately match the needs of the anxious person-if it’s too loud, too “bro-ish,” or too clinical-the immersion breaks. They turn around. They go back to the SUV.
The Montrose woman didn’t turn around because the person behind the counter didn’t use jargon. They didn’t talk about “shattering” or “dabbing.” They talked about sleep. They talked about the difference between feeling “heavy” and feeling “light.” They translated the chemistry into human terms.
I’ll admit I was wrong about the utility of that softer approach. I’ve often criticized the “wellness” industry for being overly vague, but in this case, the vagueness was the bridge. It allowed her to cross over without having to learn a new language first.
I think about the different ways we try to “target” audiences. We use demographics, zip codes, and browsing history. But we rarely target “state of mind.” We don’t target the person who is currently sitting in their car, heart racing, wondering if their neighbor is going to see them walk into a shop.
We should be building doorways for the brave, not just aisles for the bold.
Ethan A. finished his work that day, but he kept an eye on her as she left. He said she walked differently on the way out. Her shoulders had dropped about two inches. She wasn’t rushing. She looked at the leaf on the curb again, but this time she didn’t seem haunted by it.
She had a small bag in her hand, containing maybe $51 worth of tinctures and a pre-roll she’d probably be too nervous to light for another week. But she’d be back. We knew it. The staff knew it. The parking lot, which had felt like a gauntlet prior, was now just a parking lot.
The irony of the “hard-to-get” customer is that once you have them, they are the easiest to keep. They aren’t looking for the next big thing. They are looking for the same thing, done right, by people who didn’t laugh when they were trembling.
The Usher’s Responsibility
We spend so much energy trying to find new people, trying to “expand the top of the funnel,” when the real gold is sitting in the SUV right in front of us, waiting for a reason to turn off the engine.
If you’re running a business in a category with social friction, your job isn’t sales. Your job is hospitality for the hesitant. You are an usher. You are a closed captioning specialist for the unexpressed fears of your community. You have to provide the [soft music] and the [reassuring tone] that allows them to follow the plot of their own life into a better chapter.
I watched a guy yesterday do the same thing. He paced in front of a gym for . He was wearing brand new gear, tags probably still itchy in the back. He looked like he wanted to vomit.
Eventually, he just walked away. He didn’t go in. That gym lost a decade of membership fees because nobody was at the door to say, “Hey, it’s okay to be new here.” They focused on the people already lifting 201 pounds. They ignored the guy who was struggling to lift the weight of the front door.
Don’t ignore the parking lot. The parking lot is where the real decisions are made. The transaction at the register is just a formality. The real sale happened when she put her hand on the door handle and didn’t let go.
Loyalty isn’t something you buy with points or rewards programs. It’s what happens when you help a person reconcile their identity with their needs. The woman from Montrose is now one of regulars who form the backbone of that location.
She doesn’t shop around. She doesn’t check the “best dispensary in Houston” lists anymore. She’s already found it. And it all started with of silence that nobody but a captioning specialist and a watchful staff bothered to hear.